AHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAAA now i hav the same bloody problem with that cute bukiyou no silent bishie...i cant breathe properly.... if i talk to much or laugh to hard i can go down...but still i think i should jog... than i should preserve my breathe and energy and use it more when i singeven when i jog i feel like i can die on the spot because i cant feel oxygen even though im breathing...ifi slow down for a while gasp for a few breathes i should be able to go on...ill never give up...no matter what anyone says...ill jog until my lungs and heart are conditioned...now they are very weak....ill never go to the doctor because of this...im sure i can handle itim enough of being sick and weak...i already am abdly affcted by the sun...now even though my jaws are better...i still dont have enough breath... i felt so badafter choir...i couldnt even raise my voice to greet mr tay.... im so...rude...he was always so nice to us...im so fed up... i wanna laugh like crazy but i cant...i wanna talk bt i cant..now im even having problems trying to breathe...i just breathe and no oxygen enters!!! AM I SO FAT I CANT BREATHE???!!!or are my hormones like going crazy...LOL what has tat got to do withbreathing everyone said i 've gone fatter....wow....ok im rather discouraged but ill keep trying anyway i feel like drawing after getting inspired by kidchan...os reading books again ^.^since i cant yack so much anymore....AAHAHAHAAARRRGGGHHH ZEZEZEZEZEZZEZEZEZEZEZ GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHi dont even feel like smiling...its not as easy as before anymorei like...no more energy le...during school...my jaws so pain and breathing is already at such a stage of difficulty i dun breathe very often... its so difficult to force a smile out to let ppl know im still ok....i dun wanna worry other ppl...i just need to worry about myself can liao...but i somehow wish that even though i dun wan ppl to worry abt me or pity me or like me...or respect me or look up to me...i wish i could make more of them smile....i wish genevieve will smile infront of me...nt only becus m cute (erm....thats wat she says)i wish fish will smile not only bcus im funny and entertaining (well saa...)i wish virid will smile not only bcus she wants me to ( her smile looks kinda unatural on her solemn face...LOL)i wish monkey would smile...not becus she's currently entertaining herself bcus of her own thoughts...i wish chow will smile...not just because i smile at herAIYA...I JUST WISH I CAN MAKE THEM SMILE BECUASE IM ALIVEthan at least my existence wont be so useless... a gasping godfish which melts under the sun LOLLOLLOLLL.... good examplei think the more i wish for other people to be happy...the more selfish i become...if i wish for my own happiness...will i be even more selfish...i wish i can grant everyone's wish....but am i too selfish to wish for my ownsaa...i really missed those times when i saw more smiles....or maybe im now just too blindor maybe im just not worthy enough for other ppl's smilesAHAHAHAHAHAHAH