haiz...if no one really understood my mental disorder than thats fine....
its difficult not to think about it because my sub conscience is always against me...
its rather ironic but i cant help it even if i badly want to
even if i want to relax and stop thinking i will think more
its also not easy for me to tell out myself to people even though i hear alot from ppl
again even if i really want to i cannot becuase my subconscience does not allow it
this blody sub conscience will attack my body like a virus....
if i want to express myself it will stop me
if i want to talk more about the things about me and the things i know...it will stop me
and if i try too hard to oppose it ill go crazy
this is will cause my sub cnoscience to mess up with my body...ill get loads of things lar...
cant breathe, migraine, fever , turn pale and cold lar....
i cant help it...
and if i talk anymore about it now...ill really need o be sent to woodbridge
its like a mini jaclyn but this time i cant control it as much as i can
i cannot say anymore unless i go against it...im already going against it...
its not easy....whats in my brain is totally different...dont ask me how i know...just believe it
the only person who understands me is the other mes and if god really can....wow
now my mother thinks im ungrateful of what they are doing for me...
its not really true
but i think they are seriously stressing me out too much...plus i have problems expressing myself
im really very stress
